Hello~... Kirbybunny here.

Oooh~. Ok.

I change it. And I can take requests. Look at Slot's new post in the random section.

I didn't know it was you doing that, and thats alright.

Chris, I really want you to stop treating yourself like an idiot. Looking at your profile Mii on Miiverse makes me hurt inside, because the thing that upsets me most is seeing good people like you beat themselves up because they can't always do things right.

...Im sorry Majiku Hero, but thats how I feel... and it keeps feeling worse.
There's no proof that says im not an idiot because there's lots of proof that says I am, and have been...

Chris, just because you've made mistakes over and over again, doesn't mean you're an idiot. Everyone makes mistakes, but it's important to learn from them, you know. If you really were an idiot, you wouldn't know anything at all, and yet you know things. You know the difference between being good and being bad, you know how to make characters and ideas for your series, and you know enough of your basic stuff, like writing and stuff like that. You can't let constant troubles bring you down. I don't want you to be pessimistic for the rest of your life.

...But I don't know anything at all... just some things.
I know Im going to end up making some idiot mistake like I always do and end up being disappointed in myself like it always happens. Because I didn't know what I was thinking or why I even tried when I knew I was going to fail, but no~. They don't listen to me. 'You never know until you try.' They would say.
Whats pessimistic mean? ...Nevermind I know. Zain told me last year... I thought that word looked familiar.
Person who sees the worst in things or themselves... Because its kinda hard to see anything else when the bad outcome always seems to come even if I don't think something bad would happen or think positive or try not to worry abou it or worse... That word I don't want to say anymore.. Thats when it gets very disappointing when only something bad still happens and nothing good ever comes.. Its unavoidable for me...

You say you don't know anything.
In the grand scheme of the universe, scoentists have determined we know not even 1 percent of the information in the universe.who's to say that even half what info we do knowis wrong,
Trust me,we all don't know anything.

...That sounds true. We don't know what we don't know.
But I do like to learn. Thats why I ask questions alot..

A wise man once said "he who knows that he knows nothing, knows more than everyone around him".

...I don't feel sure about that myself, but.. okay? Thats good for that wise person I suppose.

I guess....

*sigh* ...There doesn't seem to be any other option for someone like me.
Between all the negative thoughts, the scary nightmares, pain in my arms hurting more and more, my headaches getting bad, being depressed, feeling like an idiot and a failure, and still trying to be here for my friends everyday and night and never getting better and only worse and worse. I think I made the wrong decision after all...
I can't relax even if I try to It can't be done... I can't take a break either because there's no time for one during all the chatting and waiting till its time for bed.
Maybe I wasn't meant to have friends... or exist anywhere... I don't belong anywhere, and I'll fit anywhere. Im a broken piece that just gets mashed in. Trying to belong where I don't by being the curious part of myself and adjusting to make sure all is well. Because the rest of me sure isn't. Its a depressing broken mess of a lonesome idiot... Until the right piece is found and im tossed away. Never to be put with other pieces... Thats what I am.
I been thinking alot. That I'll end up alone like I am in real life...
I should just stop myself completely... Make it all end next month in May..
I don't know how long I can keep going being like this. I feel like im losing my mind. Losing whats left of myself...
...I think too much... I can't stop that. Its all my fault...

Chris, there has to be some way a doctor can help you. Please don't give up. Whether you have time for chatting is something you need to figure out though.

I think you mean time for something else...
Because everyday and night is spent waiting and chatting.

Maybe try shorter chatting, or setting aside some time when you know you can go do something else.

How do you do shorter chatting with friends in the day and at night?

Say shorter sentences is one way. End a conversation at a point where it makes sense that you don't need to say more.

...and then what?
I don't understand... We'll have to talk about something else if it ends.

And then you do something productive, or sleep. If your worry is that you don't have enough time for things you've gotta cut out little bits that you do now.

Thats what I did so I can be online for my day and night friends. I had to stop doing other things. Unfortunately I can't do that the other way around because I still want to be here for my friends.

Your first priority needs to be your own health, which is in danger right now.

Im not good at worrying about myself or my health... Because when I do I get depressed and sad because I worry about myself and start remembering sad things...

Does anyone know you feel this way? Anyone who knows you personally I mean, irl.

No.
I don't know or talk to anyone personally in real life. Except myself..